The On Deck Circle

Note: This article was written by Stu “Big Daddy” Wilkinson with yours truly as a backup. Props Stu, mad respect.
…In terms of Sprite machine covers.

I have a soft spot for busts, especially in the NBA. I’m not talking about so-called busts like Kwame Brown or Darko either. Grant Hill’s not a bust either, I just love that cover. No, I’m talking about guys that didn’t get to that second contract, or to any contract for that matter. Guys that fascinated me in their pre-NBA careers, and then managed to amount to nothing in the association. I have put together a cromulent squadron of these busts, and I would argue that MJ could throw them on the court in Charlotte and nobody would know the difference.

The StartersPoint Guard – Omar Cook (New York City Point Guard, St. John’s University, Orlando Magic, Denver Nuggets, Portland Trail Blazers, Toronto Raptors)

Gotta have a former Raptor and Johnnie on the list. Omar averaged a ridiculous 15 and 9 during his one year stint with St. John’s. In Big East play he averaged 8 assists a game, the most since Sherman Douglas, and the most at St. John’s since Mark Jackson (that’s right, I looked it up). Greg Paulus was fellated by the media last year for leading the ACC in assists, going off for 5 a game, with 7 points per game to boot. Are you kidding me? I still can’t believe Omar couldn’t catch on in the NBA, even if he left St. John’s way too early. He ended up being drafted in the second round, directly after Gilbert Arenas. Maybe he should have been better friends with Jameer Nelson.

Most Flattering databasebasketball.com Similar Player: Les “Big Game” Hunter

Shooting Guard – Lenny Cooke (No college or NBA experience)

David Stern loves this guy for proving that high schoolers can ruin their lives by declaring for the draft. He could have gone to UNC, St. John’s, or Ohio State, but he went pro instead, and ended up going undrafted. Cooke has never played a minute in the NBA. Rivals.com had him behind only Carmelo in their small forward rankings for the class of 2002. Nbadraft.net compares him with Jerry Stackhouse. I think there’s some Anthony Parker action here. Go to Israel Lenny.

Most Flattering databasebasketball.com Similar Player: n/a

Small Forward – Casey Jacobsen (Stanford University, Phoenix Suns, New Orleans Hornets)

The only reason for having Casey playing the 3 on this team was to have the “too many Cooks in the backcourt” joke. That’s just pure gold. But seriously, this guy was the west coast version of J.J Redick, only with more size. Casey lit it up in his final year with the Cardinal, going for almost 22-5-4 a game. He also clocked in at 43% from downtown for his career. The guy jumped early to the league after his junior year and was done after three years, maxing out at 7.6 PPG in 2004-05. I will remember C-Jac mostly for his absolutely atrocious rating in NBA Live 2005, which is pretty much why he made this team to begin with. J.J, if you’re reading, I have one thing to say: save your money.

Most Flattering databasebasketball.com Similar Player: Steve Blake

Power Forward – Chris Taft (University of Pittsburgh, Golden State Warriors)

Some hometown flavour here. Tafty was the man at Pitt his freshman year, making my main man Toree Morris look like a real bum in the process. He was good for one or two thunderjams per game, and drew a lot of comparisons to NBA great Chris Wilcox. I remember reading an ESPN column that had him as a possible #1 overall pick during his sophomore year, and sort of feeling like it could happen. Pretty quickly after that the wheels came off. Pitt got rocked by Pacific in the first round of the tournament, and Tafty slipped to the second round and ended up with Golden State, who had taken Ike Diogu in the first round. Not great.

Most Flattering databasebasketball.com Similar Player: Bill Bolger (just for the name)

Center – Pavel Podkolzin (Utah Jazz, Dallas Mavericks)

7’5” of pure athleticism. Give him 28 more minutes of NBA action than you’ll ever see. Delonte West and Chris Duhon were drafted after him. Cue the outrage from Dickie V.

Most Flattering databasebasketball.com Similar Player: Thales Mcreynolds (Thales? Are you kidding me?)

Note: This is where the article originally ended, but I loved the idea and implored Stu to continue to make a full roster. He obliged.

The Bench

Darius Washington Jr (Guard) (University of Memphis)

Major league hype surrounded this guy coming into Memphis, but with an assist to turnover ratio of under one after his freshman year he still decided to go pro, probably because his dad was in everybody’s ear about how his kid was better than Bassy Telfair. I love Bassy as much as the next guy, but that didn’t really turn out to be a ringing endorsement did it? He came back for his sophomore season and made the same early-exit mistake again, signing an agent. He went undrafted and resides in the D-League now.

Most Flattering databasebasketball.com Similar Player: n/a

Joseph Forte (Guard) (University of North Carolina, Boston Celtics, Seattle Supersonics)

An ACC ROY and POY in his two seasons at North Carolina (he shared POY with Shane Battier), he was picked in the first round by the Celtics in 2001. He committed seven total fouls in his NBA career. Whenever Tar Heels fans rip on Duke for constantly producing NBA busts, Blue Devils fans should fire back with this name.

Most Flattering databasebasketball.com Similar Player: Yaroslav Korelev

William Avery (Guard) (Duke University, Minnesota Timberwolves)

Part of the great moment in college basketball history that was the mass defection from Duke, Avery was an aberration in Duke’s history of great/scrappy asshole point guards. Hurley, WoJo, Avery, Williams, Duhon. I hate all those dicks except for Will Avery. Keep on keepin’ on brotha. Don’t let that 33% career field goal percentage get to you.

Most Flattering databasebasketball.com Similar Player: Laron Profit

Jerome Moiso (Forward) (UCLA, Boston Celtics, New Orleans Hornets, Toronto Raptors, New Jersey Nets, Cleveland Cavaliers)

Note: I love Moiso. I had to add this pic, Stu, just for the fact that the Cavs actually had a wallpaper made for him up on their “Downloads” page.

Blake wanted this man on the team simply for his ability to grab quarters off the top of the backboard in UCLA practices. Another first round pick by Boston after his sophomore year, well done guys. I guess this is why they started drafting guys straight out of high school, these super-sophs are killing them. Moiso was hardly a monster at UCLA, averaging twelve and seven per game, but if he had stayed around with Jason Kapono and Dan Gadzuric maybe my boy Steve Lavin is still there.

Most Flattering databasebasketball.com Similar Player: Rafael Araujo (in terms of athleticism only, of course)

Ndudi Ebi (Forward) (Minnesota Timberwolves, Dallas Mavericks)

Ranked fourth overall by rivals.com in the recruiting class of 2003, only below LeBron, Luol Deng, and Shannon Brown, he went straight to the NBA and played two years for the T-Wolves, managing to play in nineteen games. The three picks after him: Kendrick Perkins, Leandro Barbosa, and Josh Howard. Somewhere a little piece of Kevin Garnett’s soul just died.

Most Flattering databasebasketball.com Similar Player: Boniface N’Dong

Cherokee Parks (Center) (Duke University, Minnesota Timberwolves, Vancouver Grizzlies, Los Angeles Clippers, San Antonio Spurs, Washington Wizards, Golden State Warriors)

I’ve been to three NBA games in my life, I can’t really remember any of them very clearly. The four things I remember:

-Acie Earl absolutely ripping it for the C’s in the Garden when I was in third grade
-Shawn Kemp playing for Cleveland in either Philadelphia or Washington
-Cherokee Parks playing for Washington
-The Wizards dance team getting hollered at by the entire section my Dad and I were sitting in

Most Flattering databasebasketball.com Similar Player: Michael Doleac

LaRue Martin (Center) (Loyola University, Portland Trail Blazers)

His Wikipedia page says he’s considered the worst first overall draft pick in the NBA. According to RealGM Dick Vitale thought Yao Ming could be the second coming of Mr. Martin. The guy spent four years in the league, maxing out at 17 MPG.

Most Flattering databasebasketball.com Similar Player: Stan Love

Note: While Stu finished the aforementioned list, I did some digging to come up with an Injured List of three players who are “injury only” busts. Stu did the write-ups, like a champ.

The Injured List

Len Bias (Guard) (University of Maryland, Boston Celtics)

Hey assholes, stick to weed.

Most Flattering databasebasketball.com Similar Player: n/a

Jay Williams (Guard) (Duke University, Chicago Bulls)

Hey assholes, stick to cars.

Most Flattering databasebasketball.com Similar Player: Deron Williams

Jonathan Bender (Forward) (Toronto Raptors, Indiana Pacers)

Straight out of high school to the league in 1999 and picked fifth by Toronto, who sent him to the Pacers for Antonio Davis (nice). If you look at the top ten that Bender was a part of in the 99 draft, it’s pretty insane. I think Andre Miller has had the second worst career in that group. Swap Bender with Corey “Are You Ready For” Maggette and you’ve probably got the best top ten in draft history. Despite being 6’11, Bender maxed out at three rebounds per game (with 20 MPG) in his seven year career. Who does he think he is, Mark Blount?

Most Flattering databasebasketball.com Similar Player: Todd Macculloch

Note: This article was written by Stu “Big Daddy” Wilkinson with yours truly as a backup. Props Stu, mad respect.