The On Deck Circle

This article has been submitted by Trevor Smith.

We at the ODC managed to get a hold of ESPN’s Bill Simmons’ article about Game 6 and Banner 17 before it hits the servers over at the Worldwide Leader. If you are at all familiar with Simmons’ work, let’s just say that it is more of the same…

The Joy of 17
Being at Game 7 with my dad has to be in the Pantheon of great father-son moments, right? This game had it all: it let me see the peak of the Kobe Bryant-face, it let me see Rondo turn into the new DJ, and I got to see the first Celtic title since Rocky was beating Drago and the Karate Kid was still a relevant pop culture reference. I mean, does it get any better? Can I write a paragraph without asking a rhetorical question? I say no. Sure, I spent the last two years killing Doc Rivers and the last month calling out Garnett, as well as blasting Kobe at any and every opportunity, but that doesn’t mean my spoiled Boston ass can’t enjoy my city winning a sixth major championship this decade. In fact, I think Dad might have passed out during the game from all the excitement, just like, you know, every other game I have ever written about. High comedy.

Kobe Bryant meanwhile is the worst human being to ever grace this earth, and while we are here, he should not have won the MVP either. When he tried to come back late in the game, it was only because he is so selfish. When he tried to distribute in the second quarter, it was only because he is a jerk. No way Jordan let’s his team lose this game, right? Warrants mentioning. Seeing him disappointed was the height of unintentional comedy. The only people worse than him are Rick Reilly and any Lakers fan (ignore the fact that I live in Los Angeles and am fighting off 1200-volt electrocution from my editors).

While we are here, let’s hand out some redundant awards since I have no other gimmicks to milk and not an ounce of creativity left:

THE “GREATEST HUMAN BEING EVER” AWARD
To Paul Pierce. Ever since last week, I have been saying this is a franchise guy, a guy you can build a championship team around. He is like the athletic version of U2 he is so great (speaking of which, how great is late ‘80s music!). And that Gatorade stunt was in no way a class-less act, it just showed creativity.

THE “FORGET WHAT I JUST WROTE YESTERDAY” AWARD
To myself; in my Game 6 preview I wrote about how KG and his awful play all series have altered his legacy to the point that his ineffectiveness has to be mentioned when its all said and done. Well, scratch that! I will now name my next child after Garnett, whose intensity rubbed off on this team and is the main reason we won a title. Yes, we. I am part of the team, as I am every team in Boston, and will continue to use the possessive plural pronoun (not that I know what that term means) (even though as a national columnist I really shouldn’t). And since we are already on the topic, ignore what I said about Phil Jackson before the series, what I wrote about Danny Ainge last summer, what I wrote about Ray Allen two weeks ago, what I wrote about Sam Cassell before the trade, what I wrote about KG in my MVP column…

(Slamming head into desk…lighting self on fire….etc.)

THE “BEST CITY IN THE WORLD” AWARD
To Boston, for having the best fans anywhere on Earth, even though it was just 12 months ago that they could not sell out a game, were chanting “MVP” for Kobe Bryant, and were busying thinking about Tanka-palooza 2007. None of those realities matter at Whatever the Hell the Garden is Called Now Because I am too Lazy Too Remember It’s Name Even Though My Team Plays Half Its Games There. Boston fans are smarter than you, more authentic, know when to cheer, and generally better people than in any other city. And yes, that “Na-na-na-na, goodbye” chant last night was the height of class.

THE “IT’S BEEN THREE PARAGRAPHS SICNE I MENTIONED A STALLONE MOVIE SO AM REQUIRED TO DO IT AGAIN” AWARD

Since I have nothing to add, have I mentioned how good the Red Sox look right now?

In wrapping up The Blowout Game, I think reader O’Doyle from Boston sums it up best:

“My roommate and I need your opinion. Which is more impressive, Bo Derrick’s performance in “Ten”, the fact that you are friends with Jimmy Kimmel, or KG’s intensity?
PS. I am so high right now!”

Yep, these are my readers.

This article has been submitted by Trevor Smith.