This article has been submitted by the debuting and oddly named Sports Socialite.
WAAAAZZZZZAAAAAPPPPPP????
Ok, maybe a dated reference to an (awesome) old Budweiser commercial, but that’s just how I roll. Before I jump in to my first post, I just wanted to introduce myself. You’ll know me as the Sports Socialite. By good fortune I’ve grown up in the sports industry and have had the pleasure of attending a lot of wicked events in my young life. From the wealth of knowledge (and liver damage) I have acquired from my travels, I hope to bring you insider sports info, amusing chirps and the occasional song. So let’s do this, bitch…
I figure I’ll do my first post on a topic of expertise… the Toronto Maple Leafs… specifically, Mats Sundin.
The Free Agent Frenzy is gearing up, and clearly everyone wants to know where our favorite balding Swede is going. And no, the “balding Swede” is not a sex move… that I know of. Anyway, much has been made about Mats peacing out to either Montreal, Detroit or New York. Well I am pretty confident that whoever believes he would go to another team is a few lessons behind on their Hooked on Phonics.
Mats Sundin is going to retire. (P.S. if this doesn’t happen, pretend I never wrote this.)
I was told a while ago that the Leafs weren’t going to resign Sundin, and that they were going to buy out Tucker (happened) and McCabe (will happen if he doesn’t wave his no trade clause).
Sundin clearly demonstrated at the trade deadline his admirable love for the dysfunctional, backward, special-ed franchise that is the Leafs (a love that I share). He refused to go to a potential Cup winner because he felt that winning with the Leafs was more important (P.S. thanks for screwing us over the rest of the season, Mats. I had to cancel that pre-ordered Stamkos Leaf jersey. You owe me $300). Whatever. Not only did that show that he had no passion or drive to be a winner (AKA he’d never win it as a Leaf anyway because he doesn’t want the Cup), it also showed that the name on the front of the sweater matters a hell of a lot more to him than the one on the back (thank you Herb Brooks…Kurt Russell?).
Now ask yourself, would Sundin really taint his time with the Leafs by ending his career with the despised Habitants? Or in any other city for that matter? I doubt Old Man Winter has had a life-shattering revelation in the past few months that winning the Cup actually matters more than limping out your career with one team (fine, two if you can count the Nordiques). Sundin would be the Johnny Damon of hockey… except Sundin didn’t win a championship title before allying with the enemy. And Sundin looks more like that flamboyant VJ from MuchMusic than a caveman.
So Mats, it’s time to say good bye. We had a good run, and you probably would have had a better career if you had been given anyone better than the Twin Tards or Alexander “OHIP” Mogilny to play with, and if you had never had the unnecessary pressure of captaincy placed on you. I wrote you this song as a farewell present… (feel free to sing along to Don McLean’s American Pie)
A long, long time ago,
I can still remember
How your scoring used to make me smile
And I knew that when you had a chance
You could make that black puck dance
And then make Leaf fans happy for a while
This February, season’s shittier
You tried so hard, didn’t deliver
Deadline’s on the doorstep
You wouldn’t take one more step.
Into my beer, I did cry
When you refused to wave goodbye
We started winning because you tried
Why, oh Sundin, Why?
So bye bye, Mister former Leaf guy
Go get married, no more Cherry
Life in Stockholm is dime
And thanks for screwing us with Stamkos, it’s fine
Just retire and we’ll say our good byes
Don’t be a Hab, don’t even try
This article has been submitted by the debuting and oddly named Sports Socialite.
#1 by Gagan on June 30th, 2008
If Sundin goes to the Habs, they will become my second favourite team during his tenure there. I just want to see the guy win a Stanley Cup, that’s all, is that too much to ask for. I know during his time with the Leafs it wasn’t supposed to happen, but now he’s (probably) not coming back to Toronto.
I may be a bigger Sundin fan than Leafs fan. Oh My.
#2 by Blake Murphy on June 30th, 2008
It’s a tough situation for him, for sure.
On one hand, he may have realized that his career lacks a ring, and now he wants one.
On the other, he may have just tired of the Leafs but isn’t ready to call it quits.
Regardless, he inadvertently screwed the franchise by leaving after refusing a trade. Change of heart or not, people will look back on it as a major coup. I mean, if he goes somewhere.
#3 by AJ on June 30th, 2008
Do I lose points if I use Madonna’s version to sing along to?
#4 by eyebleaf on June 30th, 2008
well done on the song.
i don’t think mats will retire. he had too good a season last year to hang em up. plus he’s getting married soon, so he could use the extra money to play a couple more years.
i have no problem seeing him go to montreal, detroit, hell, anywhere. like commenter Gagan, i think i might be as big a Sundin fan as I am a Leafs fan. i’m sick and tired of hearing people diss him over all of this crap. he owes the leafs nothing. he didn’t screw the franchise, not at all. he’s been a model of consistency for this franchise.
i want to see him win. i want to see him play with the type of talent (on montreal or detroit) that he’s never played with here in Toronto. but i also am holding out hope that he comes back to toronto, and continues to carry the torch, because it isn’t ready to be passed on yet.
#5 by Amy Hachey on July 1st, 2008
I’m not saying I’ll ever wear a Habs jersey, but I will always be a Mats Sundin fan. He as always been true to his word. When he told the Toronto media a million times over he wasn’t leaving he didn’t. At his age he is still an amazingingly skilled player and he is the reason why I am so passionate about hockey. I don’t care if he’s playing hockey on the moon. First the MLSE tries to drive him out of town after he said a billion times he didn’t want to be a rental player now his supposed “fans” are turning on him too? He deserves better period.
#6 by paul on July 2nd, 2008
he’s definitely going to come back to toronto now that we’ve added jeff finger and niklas hagman to the mix. in all seriousness, i don’t think he’ll retire, he wants to stay with the leafs but management has to make a commitment to put a competitive hockey team on the ice.