So who’s not sick of hearing about Brian Burke and the god-damn Leafs? Because I know I am. With the lack of any original headlines in the NHL this week, I decided to examine a more pervasive topic; one at least more amusing than yet again new high hopes for Toronto. I introduce to you: NHL stars and their running mates- girlfriends, wives, and puck bunnies.
Hollywood and professional sports seem to go cosily hand in hand; actresses, singers, and models seem to be leaving their mark around the league. I’m guessing the guys don’t mind the attention…however; it may be the ones with wives that have a bit of a problem.
Elisha Cuthbert really focused the spotlight on celebrity-athlete relationships after being passed around one too many dressing rooms. She’s been from Sean Avery to Mike Komisarek, and is currently seeing Calgary’s Dion Phaneuf. Jesus Cuthbert, at least leave poor Dion out of this! What ever happened to the innocent, Canadian cutie who hosted Popular Mechanics for Kids? Now just like in her Girl Next Door film, she’s going door to door in the pouring rain in nothing more than a tiny white wife beater, and thrusting herself into the NHL via her own blog on NHL.com (Ok, so the first bit is fictional…but she sure did seem to play the part well). She did have a legit blog published in 2005 though. Still, her mere five posts went no further than revealing how much of a puck slut she really is- talking about all of the “not bad looking” players, and explaining the jitters she got after having made “eye contact” with the Great One.
Aside from Cuthbert, Sean Avery has also been spotted dating Mary-Kate Olsen, and rumoured to be the ‘other guy’ inspiring Justin Timberlake’s What goes around comes around break-up ballad…oh Britney. She’s also rumoured to have spent some time with Mike Ricci…I’m going to do the girl a favour here, and not even get started on that one.
In other Avery news, he’s also been linked to Rachael Hunter. Wait, who the heck is Rachael Hunter you may be asking? Well, she’s basically a washed up Playboy model/failed actress, possibly best known for her role as Stacy’s mom in the music video of the same title. Props on that one Mr. Avery, props on that one…should really send your ego further skyrocketing.
Now, I’ll grant you a few celebrities have managed to tame some of the league’s bad boys. “I wanna be bad” singer Willa Ford is married to Mike Modano, and the now retired Valeri Bure has been hitched with Candace Cameron (DJ Tanner from Full House) for years. Even Disney princess Hilary Duff has had Mike Comrie locked down for awhile now too.
Then there are the real dirt balls like Tie Domi, allegedly having cheated on his wife with Canadian MP Belinda Stronach. Chris Chellios is rumoured to have committed some adultery, as well Marty Brodeur. Not to mention an endless array of others who simply haven’t been caught…yet, at least.
Probably the lowest of the low is Jose Theodore, who scored with Paris Hilton. Theodore and his girlfriend were travelling together seeking better health care for their premature newborn. However, while Mrs Theodore was taking care of the baby, Jose was hitting the club scene with Miss Hilton. Needless to say, he was dumped soon after.
Basically, my point is, keep it between the posts boys. And as for all of you tinsel towners, stop giving faithful puck bunnies a bad name and go back to somewhere you belong- somewhere you’re accepted: rehab.
With that being said, I hope I brought some entertainment to end this Burke-plagued week of hell I’ve just endured.