By Stuart Wilkinson

The Pittsburgh Pirates are making a run at history. If you take their record at face value, this team just looks like a standard addition to the Pirates record-breaking eighteen year losing streak. Nothing to see here, move along.

If you take a deeper look at MLB’s standings, however, something should pop out at you. The Pirates have won 14 games on the road this year. They’ve played 67. That means the team is clicking along at a road winning percentage of 0.209. That means for every ten games the Buccos play on the road, they win two. That’s not going to get it done in the juggernaut-laden NL Central.

I don’t blame this team for playing poorly away from the friendly confines of PNC Park. There are some tried and true explanations for the poor road performance: young players, lack of talent, Bob Nutting being evil, etc. What interests me is how this record of futility stacks up against other bad road teams in the history of baseball and what it means for the team’s future.

As it turns out, the record stacks up pretty well. Using Wikipedia’s invaluable “List of worst Major League Baseball season records” and Baseball-Reference.com I created a spreadsheet showing the road records of baseball’s worst teams ever. The Pirates are flirting with a winning percentage of under 0.200, something that has not been done since 1935. See for yourself:

My two favourite non-Buccos facts associated with this list:

• The number one team, the Cleveland Spiders of 1889, played over 100 road games. The owner gutted the team, and apparently they were so bad that fans stopped coming, causing other teams to refuse to play games in Cleveland. This story was later turned into the famous documentary Major League.

• Philadelphia absolutely dominates this list, which is unsurprising. Everyone knows that Philadelphia’s fans are supportive enough to lift even their worst teams to decent performances at home.

So as you follow the Pirates over their last few games, remember that you are following history. A team this bad doesn’t come around very often, so we should savour their final few games. This will not last forever.

Hope for the Future

Nobody will argue that the Buccos have been a smashing success on the road in 2010. I am, however, prepared to argue that this year’s ineptitude on the road is a precursor to a return to greatness. Serious investment in young talent and the fact that the team has been due for a winning season for the last decade point towards a turnaround in the near future, however the real smoking gun in the case for the Pirates winning a pennant sooner rather than later comes from going deep inside the numbers.

From my sample above, only two teams posted road winning percentages of less than 0.250 since Jackie Robinson broke the colour barrier. The 2003 Detroit Tigers set the standard for the new millennium by going 43-119 overall and posting a road winning percentage of 0.2469. The 1962 New York Mets (40-120, 0.225) are generally considered to be the cream of the historically bad baseball teams crop.

The 2003 Tigers and ’62 Mets share the shame of being the worst teams in baseball’s modern era. The 2006 Tigers and ’69 Mets, however, share something else entirely. Both those teams went to the World Series, with the Mets actually winning it all. Every modern era team that won less than 25% of its road games in one season went on to win the pennant in seven years or less.

(Edit: The 1952 Pirates (Robinson debuted in 1947) also had a road winning percentage of less than 0.250. In 1960 the Pirates won the World Series.)

It follows that in approximately seven years (but probably fewer) the Pittsburgh Pirates are going to go from a historically bad road team to representing the National League in the World Series. Unless, of course, they screw everything up and win seven more road games this year, putting their road winning percentage over that magic number of 0.250.

The Buccos have fourteen road games left. Simple math shows that they need to go less than 0.500 in their remaining road games in order to clinch a place in history. As a fan of the team, I’m going to say that’s a goal that’s right in our wheelhouse.

Raise the Jolly Roger

I haven’t written anything for The On Deck Circle in a long time. After this weekend’s Pitt-Villanova game I had to once again fire up MS Word and let the Internet, and more specifically Scottie Reynolds, know how I feel.

Before you read my letter to Scottie, know that I am a Pitt basketball fan. I went to high school in Pittsburgh and started following them when they were a Big East also-ran playing in the pressure cooker known as Fitzgerald Fieldhouse. The turning point for the program was the 2001 Big East tournament, when Brandin Knight, Ricardo Greer, and Issac Hawkins led the Panthers on a surprising run to the championship game (where they were pumped by Troy Bell’s Boston College Eagles).

I remember that run because we were vacationing in Mexico at the time, and whenever Pitt was on my Dad and I would desperately scour Playa del Carmen for a bar showing ESPN’s coverage of the tourney. Whenever you’re turning down sunny beaches for very unspectacular sports bars to watch a team in the bottom third of the Big East, you might just be a Pitt fan.

That run in the Big East tournament set the stage for the program’s success in this decade. This year was supposed to be the culmination of that success. Pitt had two excellent senior leaders at key positions and one of the nation’s best big men. They were built for tournament success and battle tested in the Big East all year. They achieved their first ever number one ranking during the season.

This was the year for Pitt, and then Scottie Reynolds and Villanova happened. Let’s just say that I wish American could have finished them off.

Dear Scottie,

Hi there buddy. I’ve been a fan of yours for a while. I remember when you were a wee freshman at Villanova, teaming with Mike Nardi to form an unexpectedly formidable backcourt. As a frosh you lead Nova to a surprisingly solid season the year after Foye, Ray, and Lowry left for the riches of the NBA.

That year I actually changed my name on MSN Messenger to “stuart – who is scottie reynolds?” to pay homage to you (Editor’s Note: It stayed there for 6 months before being replaced with “stuart – carl krauser is a raptor, it’s a no brainer”). I think it was after you scored 40 points on UConn – I was quite impressed with your cold blooded three point shooting as a freshman in the Big East. I mean, anyone who could get Mike Nardi to defer to them had to be a player, right?

Obviously we’ve had a good relationship these past three years. I’ve followed you as you’ve helped elevate Villanova back to its status in the Foye-Ray-Lowry days. The Wildcats are now That Team, flying into the NCAA Tournament under the radar despite going 13-5 in the Big East and unbeaten against Marquette, Pitt, and Syracuse.

Until Saturday night, I couldn’t have been prouder. You and Dom James were my non-Pitt guys. Dom managed to end his career with my respect for him intact (something much more valuable than having his foot intact, if you ask me). You, on the other hand, decided to throw our three year relationship out the window in approximately 5.5 seconds. What you did in those 5.5 seconds, as ridiculous as it seems, has ruined my sunny disposition for the rest of March Madness.

As long as this college basketball season is still in progress I’m going to be an inconsolable sourpuss. And it’s all because of you. You still have my respect, but you have lost my undying admiration. That has now been partitioned and sent off to Stephen Gray, Earl Clark, and Edgar Sosa. I hope you’re happy.

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

Welcome to the Beijing Olympics version of Gary Roberts Wednesday. I was going to pick Chinese synchronized divers Lin Yue and Huo Liang after their gold medal performance in men’s synchronized diving, but then I remembered that they can’t Google Tiananmen Square. You have to be able to Google Tiananmen Square in order to get your own Gary Roberts Wednesday. Dems da rules.

Anyways, Chris Kaman is apparently playing for the German men’s basketball team this year. This gives Germany a three-headed frontcourt monster of Kaman, Dirk Nowitzki, and former Penn State big man Jan Jagla (Jagla really should have been a hockey player, just so I could hear Don Cherry say “Janny Jagla” once). In their first game against Angola those three picked up 57 points while only missing seven shots, alerting the rest of the world that the German team had some top-tier bigs.

Of course that was against Angola, the traditional punching bag of Olympic basketball. In their second game, against those pesky Greeks, the Germans lost by 23. For some reason Kaman only played 16 minutes. Coincidence? I doubt it. The Germans are obviously playing possum right now, waiting for the medal round to fully unleash the devastating 260 pounder from Grand Rapids.

Although he’s from Michigan, Kaman became German this year in order to play in the Olympics and lead the Fatherland to the basketball glory it rightfully deserves. Apparently his great-grandparents were German or something, but if Chris Kaman is German then Brett Hull is a born and bred American and J.R. Holden is more Russian than Boris Yeltsin. But who really cares, because Chris Kaman makes the Olympics better. He would make it a whole lot better if he still had his goofy haircut from a couple years ago, but that might be asking too much.

Last year he lost that absurd shoulder-length, Kate Moss-thin hairstyle and emerged as the heir to the Brad Miller Memorial Throne for white “American” big men. He averaged 16 points and 12 boards a game for the Clippers, becoming the bright spot for a team that had a dark, dark season. Next year he’ll be playing with Marcus Camby, Baron Davis, and Ricky “How Am I Not Playing In Europe” Davis. I’m ready to pencil him in for 15 and 10 right now, along with enough blocks to give the Clippers one of the best interior defenses in the league.

I don’t think anyone saw Kaman becoming a double double guy in the NBA. He was moderately hyped coming out of Central Michigan, going sixth overall in the 2003 Draft over quality college players like Kirk Hinrich, T.J. Ford, and David West. Maybe this was because Kaman averaged 22 and 12 in that beast of a basketball conference known as the MAC. Big men from the MAC always work out. Nine times out of ten Elgin Baylor’s going to take a solid MAC big man over a lousy National Player of the Year like David West.

When I first saw Kaman play he was going against Duke in the NCAA Tournament as a respected big man from a non-BCS school. Him and his Central Michigan Chippewas got stomped and made me look like a complete ass for picking Duke to lose in the first round. Now he’ll probably get stomped by Rrrricky Rrrrubio and Spain tomorrow and make me look like an ass again, but if Kaman and the Germans manage to make the medal round and play the Redeem Team remember who told you to take Germany and the points. Me, baby, me.

Inside the Numbers
1 career NCAA Tournament appearance
2.8 blocks per game last season (3rd in the NBA)
1 incredible YouTube biography
$10 million a year until 2012
2 balls grabbed by Reggie Evans

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFcinlrgojk]

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

That’s right folks, it’s time for some NFL talk on The On Deck Circle! Patrick Tye got us started the other day with his “Fantasy Football Focus” (by the way, who the heck is Shaun Hill?) and now it’s time for some more in-depth analysis. I’m pretty sure the last article we had on professional football that didn’t involve teams that exist only in people’s imaginations was the debut of Alex Pennycook’s ill-fated “Thursday Top Tens” weekly feature back in February. Obviously if you’re relying solely on this website for your sports news and analysis needs (and you are) you need to get up to speed on what the NFL landscape is going to look like this year.

You probably already know which teams will be expected to make the playoffs – New England, Indianapolis, Dallas, Pittsburgh, the Bills. But do you know which team will be this year’s biggest surprise? Last year it was the Cleveland Browns, the year before that it was the New Orleans Saints. The year before that it was some other team that I can’t name off the top of my head, so let’s just say it was the Super Bowl XL Champion Pittsburgh Steelers.

These sleeper teams not only captured the hearts of football fans everywhere with their underdog status and determined style of play, they also made gamblers a lot of money. Exactly one assload of money, to be exact. Cleveland went 12-4 against the spread last year and in 2006 the Saints went 10-6, and that’s with the surge of fan support for them because of Katrina. Those numbers are why we’re all here, right? It’s all about finding an edge to help you chase the Yankee Dollar. You’re going to need to know which team will be rising from the bottom third of the league to make the playoffs if you want to cash in on your NFL wagers.

Other than the Buffalo Bills and the Oakland Raiders (the obvious sleeper picks for this year), there’s one more team that has a chance to rise from the bottom of last year’s standings to surprise NFL fans and experts alike. That’s right, I’m talking about the New York Football Jets. This team made a huge splash in free agency, adding one of the best offensive linemen in the business in Alan Faneca and getting rid of one of the shortest linebackers in the business in Jonathan “I Got Punked By Pittsburgh Panthers Quarterback Rod Rutherford” Vilma. They’re also well-coached, have a rabid fan base, and have winning records in the last two years ending in even numbers (2006, 2004).

People forget that this team is just one year removed from the playoffs. In 2006 Eric Mangenious led a fairly unheralded team to a 10-6 record and a first round exit from the postseason. After a disastrous (4-12) 2007 campaign he discarded Vilma and DeWayne Robertson (I thought he was really good) and brought in Faneca, Kris Jenkins, Vernon Gholston, and The Bubba Franks. Did the Mangenious actually make these personnel decisions? I have no idea, but let’s just say he did.

Defense wins championships, and the Jets will have a solid defense this year. Their defensive line will be beastly with Jenkins as its anchor, they have Kerry Rhodes and Darrelle Revis in the secondary, and I’m guessing they have some decent linebackers if they were willing to part with Vilma. They also have the Mangenious pulling the strings from the sidelines, and he’s more than competent.

On offense the Jets are a pretty big enigma. Either Kellen Clemons, Chad Pennington, or Brett Favre will be their starting quarterback in Week 1. I know that doesn’t seem too great, but at least none of them appear on the NFL Quarterback Doucheometer. They are pretty thin at receiver, having lost Justin McCareins to the Titans, but Lavvy Coles is still a solid number one ball catcher. Thomas Jones is a decent running back and they can bring in Leon “The Bird” Washington for added explosiveness if necessary. The strength of the offense might be the offensive line, with Faneca, Nick Mangold (I think he’s good), and D’Brickahaw Ferguson. In conclusion, mediocrity on offense wins championships.

The offense isn’t going to be consistently lighting it up this year, so I see the Jets as more of a sneaky type of sleeper team, not a 2006 Saints or 2007 Browns type. While the Saints and Browns drew attention by putting up big offensive numbers, the Jets will stay below the radar by winning most of their games in the 17-13 way, not the 35-31 way. I could see this team going 10-6 and sneaking into the playoffs, maybe even at the expense of the Buffalo Bills. I’ll go out on a limb right now and say it: If either the Bills or Jets sweep their season series they will make the playoffs.

Even if they don’t make the playoffs I still think the Jets will finish at or above .500. Then again, if you look at their schedule the Jets could easily start 1-6. If they do, I’m changing my sleeper pick to the Bears. Don’t worry though Jets fans, if your team does falter this year, at least you’ll have another high draft pick next year!

[Youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=rZxNeFLuY98]

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

Welcome to baseball that matters, Jason Bay “Watch.” For all but three games of your pre-Red Sox career you played for the Pittsburgh Pirates, baseball’s version of whatever opened against The Dark Knight. Those years were full of individual accolades and team losses. Now you have your chance to collect the accolades while playing on a team that matters, a team that undoubtedly will win a World Series in the next decade.

I’m not going to sugarcoat it, I was hoping that Jay Bay would get traded away from my Pirates, in part because I wanted the team to turn over a new leaf and in part because I wanted to see him play for a decent team. The Red Sox were the last team I wanted him to go to, as I’ve been their sworn enemy from the moment Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore celebrated their World Series win so many years ago. Now that Bay’s on the Red Sox, however, I’ve become Boston’s number one fan. That, my friends, is the power of Jason Bay.

Jason Raymond Bay is a rock solid Good Canadian Kid, straight out of Trail, British Columbia. He went to Gonzaga University and was drafted by The Montreal Expos in 2000. His first full season in MLB was with the Buccos in 2004, when he won Rookie of the Year in the National League. He hit .282 with 26 home runs and 82 RBI. The San Diego Padres, who sent him and Ollie Perez to the Pirates in exchange for noted steroid abuser Brian Giles, still think Khalil Greene should have won.

After Bay won the Henry Rowengarter Memorial Trophy in 2004 he managed back-to-back All-Star nods. In 2005 he appeared in the Century 21 Home Run Derby, managing zero home runs. In 2006 he led all National League outfielders in All-Star voting, mostly thanks to the efforts of the city of Pittsburgh and Eddie Vedder. He was the first Pirate to be voted into the All-Star game as a starter since Andy Van Slyke. The next year he hit .247.

Those struggles were due to numerous injuries though, and by 2008 Bay was back and helping the Pirates chase .400 (.400 is the new .500). In his 106 games in the N.L. this year he hit .282 with 22 home runs, good enough to make him one of the most productive outfielders in the majors. Thanks to his poor Home Run Derby showing in 2005 and the ballot stuffing fiasco in 2006, the baseball gods shunned him away from the 2008 All-Star Game.

But that’s all good, because Jason Bay is not about individual achievements. Jason Bay is now about winning championships and bringing glory to the team that employs him. Baseball fans better get used to him being featured in the middle of the Red Sox lineup for at least the next couple years and probably the next ten if he performs like I know he can. Even better, baseball fans can expect hundreds of “that’s just Jay Bay being Jay Bay” sayings from Bostonians going through Manny withdrawal. I don’t think it gets any better than that.

Inside the Numbers
2 top 25 finishes in National League MVP voting
1 Little League World Series appearance
10 home runs in 10 games in 2007
20 or more home runs in five straight seasons
0 playoff appearances

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

Congratulations are in order for Andris Biedrins of the Golden State Warriors. Mr. Biedrins recently signed a contract worth $62 million (that’s more than People paid for Tom and Katie’s baby pictures!) over the next six seasons. Mr. Biedrins has also never, ever, made a jump shot. I’m serious. His form makes Chuck Hayes look like J.J. Redick. Having a shooting form worse than Shaq and still getting paid more than $10 million a year? That definitely makes Andris deserving of his very own Gary Roberts Wednesday.

Biedrins might just be worth that silly amount of money for the Warriors. He’s a great fit for them – a big that protects the painted area and can finish around the hoop. The best part of his game is his ability to play within himself and not steal shots from GSW’s absolutely ridiculous core of guards. Do you realize that the Warriors have Stack Jack, Corey Maggette, and Monta Ellis? With Al Harrington in the frontcourt? I don’t think Andris will be getting any less selective in his shot choices next year.

That lineup, of course, does mean that Andris will be the anchor for GSW’s interior defense and rebounding, something that he’s probably used to by now. Last year he had 9.8 rebounds a game, helping Golden State somehow end up in the NBA’s top fifteen for defensive rebounds per game (forget their up tempo system for one second). He also managed to lead Golden State to being the fifth best squad in offensive rebounds per game, probably because getting on the offensive glass was the only way he’d get the ball in his hands on the offensive end.

Then again, maybe Andris goes after the offensive boards hard because he knows that’s the only way he can create an open look. I honestly can’t remember seeing Andris make a post move, but that really doesn’t matter. As is he’s a great Warriors big man. He dunks, blocks shots (1.2 a game, or what’s known as a “Triple Curry”), and rebounds. He doesn’t turn the ball over too much and he isn’t a black hole in the post. He’s even improving his free throw form these days, moving from Dale Davis territory in his first couple years to a respectable 62% this past season.

Biedrins is also only 22, or four years younger than Michael Jordan’s favorite number one draft pick of all time. Biedrins was drafted by the Warriors, 11th overall in 2004, out of Latvia. This begs the question: Which athlete is more beloved in Latvia, Artus Irbe or Andris Biedrins? His Latvian-ness also probably means that he doesn’t even speak the language too well, meaning that even if he’s angry about not getting enough looks in the low post he can’t communicate his beef to team captain Stack Jack effectively. Unless, of course, he’s got a Primo Brezc-esque grasp of the English language. In that case I want Jalen Rose to interview him immediately.

Oh yeah, and Emeka Okafor just got signed for $72 million over six years, or just less than $2 million per season more than Andris. There’s a lesson in here for all you student-athletes thinking about staying in school and earning your valuable UConn diploma in three years. Take the time you would waste in the classroom and do Air Alert. Go pro early and do three things: Dunk, rebound, and block shots. You will make more money than the President or anyone with one of those silly “degrees”. Also, hire me to be your accountant/entourage member.

Inside the Numbers
62.6% FG% last season, best in the league
1 of the most unlikely blogs in the history of the internet
17.2 rebounds per 48 minutes last season, third in the league
26 rebounds in one game, against the Knicks of all teams
1 dunk over Keith Van Horn

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

It’s time. The Major League Baseball All-Star Game is over, which means it’s time to get down to business for the teams that consider themselves contenders for a berth in the World Series. As we saw last year with the Colorado Rockies, the goal for teams not named the Boston Red Sox should be making the playoffs. Once you’re playing in October, anything can happen. Of course, absolutely nothing will happen if your team ends up playing the Red Sox. That’s just a juggernaut.

To increase their chances of getting into the playoffs some teams will make big trades on or around the July 31st trading deadline. We’ve already seen Milwaukee deal prospects for C.C. Sabathia and the Cubs do the same for Rich Harden. More swaps involving prospects and established players will be made as the summer wears on. Why on Earth, however, would a baseball bigwig pull the trigger on giving up some blue chip prospects for a rental player when the greatest player of all time is available as a free agent and willing to play for the league minimum? Ladies and gentlemen, you have forgotten Barry Bonds!

Sure, the guy probably cheated more than the Duke Blue Devils. And sure, his agent says that a comeback this year is unlikely. But come on people! You’re telling me that one of the greatest players of all time is sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring right now and a team won’t roll the dice on him? Do baseball teams not want to win the World Series this year? I am legitimately outraged!

Last season Bonds had a .480 OBP. He hit 28 more home runs than the entire Blue Jays organization has hit this season. He’s probably got enough HGH left in his body to fuel next year’s Kentucky Derby winner. He can still play, and he still wants to win a championship to cement his legacy as the greatest baseball player of all-time. How can teams deny that?

I honestly can’t see the season passing without Barry signing with someone. Eventually someone is going to break and bring him on board. Hopefully it’ll be the Yankees because that would be incredible (either Bonds, Griffey, or Jason Bay MUST end up with my Bronx Bombers), but any team will do. Can you imagine a World Series game in the final year of Yankee Stadium with Barry Bonds involved? Barry Bonds wearing pinstripes? I would pay silly money to see that.

How about the Tampa Bay Rays signing Bonds to put them over the top in the race for the AL East? Or the White Sox bringing him on board, allowing him to start his career wearing a gangster Pittsburgh Pirates hat and end it wearing a gangster White Sox hat. The two teams I can’t see Barry going to are the Red Sox (too much good mojo there to bring Barry on board) and the Cubs (don’t know why, I just don’t see it). Other than that there is no reason for him to be sitting out this year’s baseball playoffs. Oh, and don’t tell me you didn’t get excited by those last couple paragraphs.

It’s not even all about wanting to see Bonds make one last run in the postseason. Look, the steroid era is pretty much over. Sammy Sosa, Mark McGwire, and Roger Clemens, the other three horsemen of baseball’s performance-enhanced apocalypse, have all faded away. Can’t baseball give me one last moment of glory with the one of the game’s most hated figures? Come on, Mike Vick’s never going to be back in the NFL, Mike Tyson will never be a legitimate boxer, and John Daly’s not exactly tearing up the PGA Tour. Barry Bonds is my only hope for a legitimate villain or crazy person to come back and make a run at a championship. This obviously does not count the NBA, where crazy is par for the course.

Today’s baseball players simply don’t bring enough craziness or dickishness to the table to get me pumped up to watch America’s pastime. It’s time for change people. It’s time to make baseball exciting again. If we all band together and stop badmouthing Barry Bonds, perhaps baseball’s bigwigs will stop blackballing him. Perhaps we can stem the flood of hate and put up sandbags of forgiveness. We will turn the tide and help give one of America’s greatest heroes one last chance to redeem himself. Yes we can!

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

For the last couple of weeks the retirement status of a certain Green Bay Packers quarterback has been deemed by the sports media to be incredibly important news. This quarterback has probably gotten more face time on PTI than Wilbon and Kornheiser combined, while the retirement of one of the greatest Canadian kids of all time has received minimal attention. The only coverage I remember from Trevor Linden’s retirement was seeing it on The Score’s bottom line. Pretty pathetic effort, media.

Trevor Linden deserves more than the tidbit that I saw while watching Cam Stewart and Gabe Morency talk about finding value in the day’s baseball games. No, Trevor Linden deserves his very own Gary Roberts Wednesday. This man played in the NHL for 20 years and scored thirty or more goals in six different seasons. His nickname is Captain Canuck! Nuts to GRW, Trevor Linden deserves a statue and a life’s supply of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Linden started his NHL career by being drafted second overall by the Canucks in the famous 1988 NHL Entry Draft, behind the great American hero Mikey Modano, but ahead of Curtis Leschyshyn. He played his junior hockey with the Medicine Hat Tigers (Ryan Hollweg’s alma mater!), winning two Memorial Cups and a World Junior Championships Gold Medal. Those titles would be the last of Linden’s career – he collected nothing but silver in international hockey and tons of money in the NHL.

Although he never won a Cup in the NHL, a gold medal with the Canadian Olympic Team, or even a measly World Cup of Hockey, Linden was still good enough to be called Captain Canuck by the Vancouver faithful. Sadly he was never able to duel Ryan “Captain Canada” Smyth to the death for Canadian captaincy supremacy, but this is beside the point. Linden became captain of the Canucks when he was 21, putting him in the Young Captain Hall of Fame with players like Stevie Y, Vinny Lecavalier, Eric Lindros, and the best hockey player of all time, Sidney Crosby.

He didn’t lead his team to the Stanley Cup Finals immediately after being named captain like the aforementioned Sidney Crosby, but Linden did bring the Canucks to the big stage in his third season as the team’s leader. The Canucks somehow lost that series (way back in 1994) to the Rangers but I think the Linden experience can be summed up in a clip from the end of Game 6 in Vancouver. Watch it, live it, dislike Mark Messier because of it.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ybk_V_c6LBw&feature=related]

Linden spent the rest of his career trying to get back to the Cup Finals, playing for the Islanders, Canadiens, and Capitals before returning to Vancouver to finish out his career. When he was traded to the Islanders, the guys that went over to the Canucks from Long Island were none other than Todd Bertuzzi, Bryan McCabe, and a draft pick that became Jarkko Ruutu. Even when he was leaving the Canucks he was actually helping them get stronger. A pretty rock solid multimedia experience of Linden’s entire career can be found at Orlando Kurtneblog. Check out the jersey he got drafted in, it makes old school Houston Astros jerseys look gorgeous.

So if you’re worrying where a certain Green Bay Packer will end up in about two months, take a break for a second. Think about how Trevor Linden, a prototypical NHL leader, won’t be suiting up next hockey season. Well, right now it looks like he won’t be suiting up. I hear Cliff Fletcher’s going to sign him for three years and fifteen million if the Canucks end up getting Sundin. That’s even more than Jeff Finger money!

Inside the Numbers
16 seasons with the Canucks
124 career playoff games played
99 career playoff points
375 career goals scored
1 of the sweetest hits of all time

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

Toronto Maple Leafs fans know they have a lot to look forward to next season thanks to the brilliance of Cliff Fletcher and the rest of MLSE. Bryan McCabe’s return to relevance. The Finger-banging of opposing forwards that dare to enter Vesa Toskala’s airspace. The inevitable emergence of Curtis Joseph as a top five goalie in the Eastern Conference. All of these future events are obvious to even the most casual Leafs fan, but I don’t think the citizens of Leafs Nation know about the excellence that will be coming from one of their club’s best new additions: Ryan Hollweg.

Before being sent to the Leafs in exchange for a fifth round draft pick, Hollweg skated for the New York Rangers, the team that originally drafted him in the eighth round of the 2001 NHL Entry Draft. He was drafted from the WHL’s Medicine Hat Tigers after four seasons (he sat out most of another season with a concussion). Those four seasons resulted in a respectable 94 goals and 233 points, not to mention a hard-working 476 penalty minutes. As those numbers would lead you to believe, Hollweg is a somewhat scrappy player.

In New York he spent most of his time on a prestigious line with Colton Orr and the great Bates Battaglia, scoring very sparingly. What he lacks in goals scored, however, Hollweg makes up for in grit. Sean Avery hogged the spotlight in New York with his well-deserved superpest reputation, so Hollweg’s antics went mostly unnoticed, but not by Chris Simon. Simon’s infamous slash to the face of some unlucky guy was actually a slash to the face of Ryan Hollweg. If enraging a guy to the point of him slashing you in the face isn’t enough for entrance into the superpest club I don’t know what is.

His gritty and somewhat illegal play is also noticed a lot by NHL officials. Hollweg came third on the Rangers in penalty minutes in the 2007-08 season, behind Colton Orr and Sean Avery. In the 2006-07 season he managed to beat out Orr and Avery for the number one spot, mostly thanks to injuries to both of them. Fast fact: Jammy Jagr was third in penalty minutes on the Rangers that season.

Mr. Hollweg spends a lot of time in the box because of his pest-like play, but knows how to pick his spots – this past playoff season he only managed one minor penalty in eight games. It was probably a good call for him to stay out of the sin bin since he wasn’t really helping his team on the scoreboard. In eight games played he picked up a -2 (second last on the team) and mustered only five shots on goal. Sidney Crosby he’s not.

Scoring, however, is not the reason why Ryan Hollweg is moving to Toronto. Let’s face it, the Leafs don’t need yet another goal scorer – they need grit from a good American kid, and that’s exactly what Hollweg will provide. Although he didn’t find the twine much in New York and probably won’t in Toronto either, his energy and hard-nosed play will make the Leafs a much more entertaining play.

Oh yeah, and he has a sweet flavor saver and sort of looks like my boy Adam Morrison. And don’t forget his sweet dance moves either (below). You’re telling me this guy’s not going to lead the Leafs to the playoffs?!

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=PXvyxKrkpgM]

Inside the Numbers
4 seasons of over 100 PIMs in the WHL
2 time WHL player of the week
239 PIMs in one season in the AHL
311 career PIMs in three NHL seasons
5 career NHL goals

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.

We all know that Duke University is an awful academic institution with an embarrassment for a men’s basketball team. Although I’ve never met a Duke graduate, I’m sure that they are all complete jerks, as jerkiness pretty much comes with a diploma from Duke University. Most guys on the men’s basketball team probably don’t even have a diploma, despite Coach K’s best efforts to bribe their professors with bags of dollar bills given to him by American Express and Chevrolet. Even without a full Duke education, however, Duke’s men’s basketball players do consistently manage to be the jerk store’s best-selling item.

Maybe some of what I said in that opening paragraph was harsh. Some of it probably came pretty close to libel, which is okay since libel is perfectly legal on the internet. There was a point to all of those cruel words though: Duke basketball players cannot be trusted. That’s not a baseless accusation, it’s a fact. Other than Grant Hill, there are no high character Duke players in the NBA. Let’s take a look at the facts, starting with the newest member of the untrustworthy Duke players club.

Elton Brand
Although I don’t have extensive records of Brand’s conversations with Baron Davis over the past couple weeks, I am going to assume that Davis believed that EB was coming back to the Clippers (check this). This of course led to B Dizzle taking a slight pay cut to come to Los Angeles and make a run with Brand, Kaman, Tim Thomas, and Paul Davis. Sadly for Baron, the 76ers decided to take a run at Brand and landed him.

This makes Brand a typical low-character Duke player. He single-handedly crushed the dreams of euphoric Clippers fans and stabbed Baron Davis in the back. The former is understandable and has to be done every once and a while, but the latter is completely unconscionable. Screwing over Baron Davis is like punching a clown in the face, but if that clown had an awesome beard and could dunk a basketball off an alley-oop from half court.

Carlos Boozer
The prototypical Duke snake in the grass, Boozer made his name by bolting from Cleveland to Utah during the summer of 2004. Cleveland’s GM, former Duke Blue Devil Danny Ferry, agreed to release Boozer from the last year of his rookie contract (worth $695,000) in order to sign him to a six year, $39 million extension. The Cavs believed that Boozer was committed to the extension and being a key piece for the team in the long term.

Once Cleveland released Boozer he signed a contract with the Jazz worth $70 million over six years. Boozer of course says that he never made a commitment to the Cavaliers, which makes complete sense when you look at what happened. Of course the Cavs would release Boozer without any assurances that he’d resign with them immediately. That just makes sense!

Danny Ferry
Although Cleveland was hurt badly by Boozer’s dishonest behavior, you shouldn’t view them as a blind man that just got robbed by a bunch of teenage hoodlums. Danny Ferry was trying to lock Boozer into a long term contract worth significantly less than his market value. You could say that Boozer out-Duked Ferry by telling him he’d resign then bolting in the middle of the night. Say what you want about Carlos Boozer, but it’s pretty tough to out-Duke a white three point specialist.

J.J. Redick
J.J. recently demanded that the Orlando Magic either play him or trade him. Apparently he hasn’t realized that he’s a three point specialist that shoots 39.5% from three point range.

Chris Duhon
I had to do some Wikipedia research to dig up some dirt on Duhon, who has been pretty much on the level since graduating from Duke and moving on to the NBA. Luckily he’s headed to the Knicks next season, which means he’ll be in some serious dirt soon enough. In the meantime I can fall back on the three separate occasions Duhon was disciplined for missing team events, one of which was a film session before a game against the Pistons in the playoffs. Duhon was forced to sit out the game and the Bulls lost, so draw your own conclusions.

Also Duhon donated about $450,000 worth of stuff to Katrina victims, so kudos to him for that. Does it change the fact that he had to be disciplined three times by notoriously easy-going Scott Skiles? Absolutely not.

Kobe Bryant
Finally, let’s remember that one of the greats at stabbing his organization in the back off the court almost attended Duke. He’s had a customized version of his signature shoes made for Duke, and one of the main reasons he’s on the new Dream Team is Coach K’s presence (ignore that dump truck full of money with a swoosh on it parked outside his house). Kobe can’t be officially added to the Duke Douche Bag Hall of Fame because he never laced them up for the Blue Devils, but we’ll give him a statue that depicts him demanding a trade. It’ll be called Coach K Rubbing Off On Kobe, and it will be glorious.

So there you have it, a moderately researched list of former Duke players that have had some moral transgressions during their careers in the NBA. I guarantee that no other university has had as many untrustworthy (drug arrests and strip club shootings don’t count) players come from their program. I can’t wait until Gerald Henderson sits out his rookie year because he doesn’t want to play in Milwaukee.

This article has been submitted by Stu Wilkinson.