This article has been submitted by Sports Socialite.
Okay. Admit it. We all do some pretty wacky things when we’re drunk, and it’s not our fault. Whether it be sliding down the stairs on a mattress, streaking through the quad into the gymnasium, or puking on a peacock, we’ve all been “that girl/guy.” But Allan Muir of Sports Illustrated wrote an article while he was apparently completely shitfaced, which is something even I have never done (though I can’t say the same for Blake).
You can read the drunken ramblings here.
First of all, let me mention that Sports Illustrated ranks up there with Damian Cox and Erin Andrews in crappy attempts at sports reporting. Sure, SI is great if you want to know the entire life story of every NCAA basketball or football player. Ever. Or if you want to fawn over some very fancy and expensive swimsuits (but obviously not the foreign supermodels wearing them… right?), but when it comes to any sport not on the radar of middle America, then you’re better off reading Wikipedia.
With a mere 550 days until the Vancouver Games begin, I think I should put on my Sumi/Miga/Quatchi shirt, light my replica Olympic torch and set Mr. Muir straight.
more after the jump!
This article has been submitted by Kabeir Dilawri.
Animated, hedonistic, and incomparably entertaining, cereal mascots are an invaluable cog in the cereal industry’s $237 million strategy to market their sugar-infested products to today’s youth. While the morality of such shenanigans by multi-billion dollar corporations, such as General Mills and Kellogg’s, are up for debate, there is no denying that these characters, in hindsight, were an integral part of any adult’s childhood, in the same category as Hot Wheels, Nerf Guns, Pogs, and, of course, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Now that the forces of nostalgia are running rampant, below is a list comparing the world of sports to these affable characters:
More after the jump!
This article has been submitted by Jason Petznick.
While A.J. Burnett’s fate as a Toronto Blue Jay garners the majority of the media hype, I think there’s another spot in the Jays’ lineup that deserves just as much attention with the trade deadline quickly approaching.
During the past few seasons, Aaron Hill and John McDonald have made numerous appearances on highlight reels with their defensive prowess up the middle for the Blue Jays. Most nights it seems as though these guys could turn the most difficult double plays with their eyes closed. However, with Hill on the disabled list, a number of other players have shown that they can perform just as well up the middle.
Up to this point in the season, the second base and shortstop duties have been shared primarily between five guys: the previously mentioned duo of Hill and McDonald, as well as David Eckstein, Marco Scutaro and Joe Inglett.
If the Jays are to trade away one of these players, who will it be? Let’s see if the numbers can help us out.
More after the jump!
This article has been submitted by Sports Socialite.
As I sit on my couch watching the Home Run Derby and cursing the staining powers of Cheetos, I am shocked by three things.
1) Erin Andrews – OK, so I’m not her biggest fan. No, I’m not jealous that she is (relatively) attractive, blonde, reporting for ESPN and lusted after by millions of frat boy NCAA fans and pot-bellied armchair GMs alike. Well maybe a little. Whatever. Not only was I disappointed with her choice of attire (THAT shirt with THAT skirt???), but she needed a written script to MC the trophy ceremony at the end of the Derby. If you’re working for the “world wide leader,” you should probably know who the bigwigs in MLB are.
Seriously, in a battle of the wits between Jennifer Hedger and Erin Andrews, it would be a bigger beat down than Pacman Jones vs. a stripper.
More after the jump!
This article has been submitted by Andrew Chestnut.
The last time I watched a home run derby, the year was 1998, when presidents spoke in complete sentences, people still had AOL and CD players, and gasoline was still cheaper by volume than Russian beluga caviar. Back then, Ken Griffey Jr. was still wearing a Mariners uniform, and stuck 19 baseballs through controversially rarified air and out of Coors Field to win the contest.
Since then, the ordeal has completely failed to interest me. There are no stories or meanings behind the long bombs to make me care which 280 pound human specimen hits the most. It’s not like the winning guy gets to add five wins to his team’s overall record, or anything like that. To make matters worse, the guys at ESPN seem to be making the thing more and more gimmicky each year, evidently more concerned with capturing the attention of semi-fans flipping through channels than retaining the attention of real baseball fans. The derby reminds me a lot of Slamball.
So this year I returned to watching the derby to see this Josh Hamilton guy who apparently hits baseballs the way Mike Tyson used to hit people (hard). There was talk that he might be the first person to ever hit a ball out of Yankee Stadium.
More after the jump!
This article has been submitted by the debuting Jason Petznick.
Will the Jays break the .500 mark before the All-Star Game?
As I’m writing this, the Toronto Blue Jays are down three runs in the bottom of the 6th against the L.A. Angels, and A.J. Burnett is on the verge of another lacklustre outing. Never mind, make that a five run deficit.
Lets face it Jays fans, the odds of the boys in blue breaking the .500 mark before the All-Star break are slim-to-none. Even if they manage to pull off a win tonight, they still have to finish up with at least a 6-2 record (something they haven’t done since the end of May) going in to the break.
More after the jump!
This article has been submitted by Sean Meister.
Like any good hockey fan, I spent my Canada Day hitting the refresh button at NHL.com. It’s difficult to find meaning in the signings when the pace is so fast, but I’ve come to two conclusions so far.
1. Tampa Bay is on a mission. Roberts, Malone, Kolzig, Vrbata, etc. There was a feeding frenzy, but apparently only the Lightning were invited.
2. Stemming from the initial Tampa Bay signings of Roberts and Malone came the slow downfall of the Pittsburgh team of 2007-2008. Pittsburgh is in a bit of trouble.
More after the jump!
This article has been submitted by the debuting and oddly named Sports Socialite.
WAAAAZZZZZAAAAAPPPPPP????
Ok, maybe a dated reference to an (awesome) old Budweiser commercial, but that’s just how I roll. Before I jump in to my first post, I just wanted to introduce myself. You’ll know me as the Sports Socialite. By good fortune I’ve grown up in the sports industry and have had the pleasure of attending a lot of wicked events in my young life. From the wealth of knowledge (and liver damage) I have acquired from my travels, I hope to bring you insider sports info, amusing chirps and the occasional song. So let’s do this, bitch…
I figure I’ll do my first post on a topic of expertise… the Toronto Maple Leafs… specifically, Mats Sundin.
The Free Agent Frenzy is gearing up, and clearly everyone wants to know where our favorite balding Swede is going. And no, the “balding Swede” is not a sex move… that I know of. Anyway, much has been made about Mats peacing out to either Montreal, Detroit or New York. Well I am pretty confident that whoever believes he would go to another team is a few lessons behind on their Hooked on Phonics.
More after the jump!
This article has been submitted by the debuting Andrew Chestnut.
Sheryl Crow seems to think that “good is good, and bad is bad.” As far as being a baseball fan, she may be wrong.
We are in an age of rampant, unregulated, bandwagoning; an age when more Red Sox fans show up to Tropicana Field than Rays fans. As a response, the collective subconscious of baseball traditionalists (real fans) has deemed it cooler to follow a team that isn’t very good, as if that makes your fanhood more legitimate.
With so many idiotic imposters out there, flocking en masse to away games to ensure “their” team never experiences a real road game, it is easy to see why Orioles fans garner more respect from true baseball disciples than Sox or Yankees fans. They must be real fans, we communally imply, because they like a team that has sucked for a long time.
Arbitrarily deciding to follow a historically popular team like the Yankees, Red Sox, or Cubs—especially when they are winning—is a baseball felony comparable to taking steroids or wearing a Roger Clemens jersey. It’s like committing credibility suicide.
This phenomenon seems to be an inherent paradox: it is unpopular to like popular teams, and fun to root for loveable losers. It means that, in some twisted sense, it is more desirable to be a fan of a bad team, as if the fundamental goal of being a fan were earning as much credibility as possible, rather than following your team to a championship. Perhaps because only eight teams each year make the playoffs, baseball has become more about you as a fan than the team. Much in the same way affirmative action seeks to repair racism, this reactionary sentiment is a reversed manifestation of the same problem it opposes in the first place.
More after the jump!
This article has been submitted by Sports Socialite.
