This article has been submitted by Trevor Smith and is a weekly feature.
HANGOVER HEADACHES: HEADLINES
Davidson’s Clock Strikes 12:01: Those Jordan commercials have been telling us all month that “There are no Cinderellas.” Though Davidson did its damnedest to prove otherwise, in the end all of Stephan Curry’s brilliance was just not enough. Glass slipper now absent, there will be four No. 1’s for the first time ever in the Big Show. While his Wildcats didn’t make it to San Antonio, Curry grew his legend even more Sunday with 25 points (on 9-of-25 shooting) after becoming only the fourth player to hit for 30+ in his first four NCAA tournament games. The Jayhawks move on to face North Carolina for the first time since Roy Williams returned to his alma-mater, while Kevin “Boy II Men” Love and UCLA will face Memphis. Rest assured, Texas will be rocking next Saturday night: if you care at all about basketball, find a television and savour this year’s last serving of Madness.
Baseball Begins on this Side of the Pacific: The Washington Nationals opened their new home, the oh-so-creatively named Nationals Park, with a 3-2 win over the Atlanta Geriatrics, er, Braves. Ryan Zimmerman hit a game-winning homer off of Peter Moylan with two outs in the bottom of the ninth. The season technically started with the Boston-Oakland series last week in Tokyo, though it boggles the mind to attempt to understand how those games count, since both teams have since played exhibition games. Any true baseball fan knows that Opening Day proper will be this Monday, as it is the first time one can call in sick to work and catch a matinee. The Jays come into Yankee Stadium while the Brewers storm Wrigley in Monday’s two most interesting games.
Pre-season pick from the Imaginary Player: Tigers over Mets.
The NHL - Where “Can the Playoffs Start Already?” Happens: It seems as though no one wants to lay claim to the final playoff spot in the Western Conference. A 1-0 loss in overtime to Detroit on Sunday has Nashville (and Edmonton) now looking up at the eighth-seed after Vancouver took out Calgary. Over in the East, the Pens beat up the Rangers on Sunday to overtake Montreal for first. Nothing tops playoff hockey and thankfully (mercifully?) we will get there soon. The playoffs being just around the corner means three things: no more Leafs games; an early exit for the Sens; and a Cup winner from the West.
ASPIRIN AND COFFEE: ODDS AND ENDS
Mavs-Warriors-Nuggets: With the Mavs falling to the Baron and his Warriors on Sunday, we officially have a dogfight out West that Ron Mexico could be proud of. With nine games remaining, Dallas, Golden State and Denver are all squared at 45-28. If the season ended today, the Warriors would be golfing because they have lost two of three to both the Nuggets and Mavericks, but don’t be at all surprised with the Mavs free-fall right into the lottery. When G-State beats Dallas in their final meeting, the Mavericks will be the odd team out in a three-way tie. These are the same Mavericks that won 67 games last year. But hey, I bet they sold a bunch of JKidd jerseys.
Same Ol’ Spurs: After pummeling the Rockets Sunday, those boring, monotonous San Antonio Spurs are closing in on the enviable No. 1 seed out West, same as it ever was. All NBA fans should immediately commence making their offerings to the Gods to ensure we don’t have to see the Big Fundamental and the Poo-God in the Finals again.
President Bush: The Commander-in-Chief threw out the first pitch at the Nationals game Sunday night and later provided his insight on the Mitchell Report and the importance of overcoming steroids. Nice to see W. has his finger on the pulse of the issues that matter most today…only 294 days until Obama takes office.
Please, Stop Putting a Microphone in front of Pac-Man: Jones is confident he has played his last game with the Titans - and he has already picked the number he’d like to wear with the Cowboys. Dallas strip-club owners can’t stop smiling: Make it rain, indeed.
This article has been submitted by Trevor Smith and is a weekly feature.
